


Into the Fire

by TheStigsWriterCousin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean's a HE-RO, Destiel - Freeform, Firefighter!Dean, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Dean/Jo, Past Lucifer/Castiel, Poor Castiel, Romance, Sappy, Tearjerker, abusive past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:08:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2313914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStigsWriterCousin/pseuds/TheStigsWriterCousin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean saves Castiel from a fire, he sets in motion a chain of events that no one could have predicted. It's not the only time he'll have to save his angel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Firefighter!Dean has been in my head for the longest time and I just had to do this. In this, Castiel is kind of half-Misha, half-Cas in that I don't want him to be too serious, so just go with it.
> 
> This will be Rated Mature. I will update the rating as the content changes because I hate starting a story rated Mature before there is any actual Mature content to be seen (Yes, as a reader, I am purely in it for the porn).
> 
> Please review if you enjoy the story! Favourites and Followers and kudos are appreciated, but nothing inspires better than reviews and that goes for all of my stories. Even if it's a simple review, it does great things for my motivation, so if you want more, please let me know. Enjoy!

The flames were high in the sky by the time Dean's engine pulled up to the scene, the sirens of the first fire truck filling the air. They had received the go-ahead to begin pumping, that the house was clear, but a woman in the street caught his attention.

 

“He's still in there! My brother is in there, please!” A red-haired girl was being held back by one of his co-workers.

 

“Ma'am we've been through the house, there's no one. You need to stay back.” He tried to speak to her calmly, but she was hysterical.

 

She locked eyes with Dean as he unraveled the hose in a hurry and something about the look in her eyes struck him. “Take over here.” He grabbed the nearest man and passed off the task of prepping the hose.

 

He patted the burly man on the back and he let the girl go, moving on to help the other firefighters. “Please, I swear he's in there, I was just on the phone with him. He was expecting me.” He could barely understand her frantic words.

 

“Where could he be?” It was something in the way that she was shaking and couldn't speak, Dean knew that she was telling the truth as far as she knew, but his team wouldn't have missed him unless he was somewhere unexpected.

 

“I don't know!” She held her head, scared for her brother and frustrated that no one was going to help him. “The basement! He might... I don't know, he might have been down there still...”

 

Maybe it was his instinct as an older brother, or the fact that she reminded him of someone that he cares a lot about, but he needed to help her. “If he's in there, I'll find him. Stay here.” She nodded at him, wringing her hands trying to contain herself.

 

As he approached the front of the house, pulling his helmet down, he heard a shout from the Chief. “Winchester, I swear to God!”

 

“Give me 5 minutes, Bobby!” He didn't hesitate, walking through the already kicked-in door. Being the second truck on the scene, the fire had already been raging long enough that he knew it was dangerous for him to go in, much more so down to the basement.

 

The risk of the entire house collapsing and trapping him was very real, but Dean didn't have it in him to leave anyone behind. Not since he lost his own mother in a house fire when he was 4 years old. Ever since that day when he carried his baby brother to safety, he knew what he wanted to do with his life, and to date he had saved 27 people and 1 cat.

 

He quickly found his way to the basement, lucky that the stairs had held up so far. In the basement, it was clear that the concrete floor had a decent bit to do with the fact that the entire bottom of the house hadn't yet caught fire.

 

He shouted over the crackle of the fire, trying to locate the missing brother before everything came down on top of him. He kicked over the debris as he walked, hoping that if he uncovered someone that they'd still be breathing. As he searched, he noticed that the basement was covered in large canvases, most of them in flames, but the few that hadn't caught on yet were beautiful.

 

Moving past a stack of burning easels, Dean finally found what he was looking for. He could barely make out the vague shape of a person with all of the smoke coming down from the ceiling, but it was enough.

 

As he bent down to pick the man up, the ceiling above them cracked, beams falling over them. He followed his first instinct, putting his body across the unconscious man's until the damage was done. He howled as one of the beams crashed down across his leg. He could hear the snap, but it fell away without pinning him.

 

When the dust settled, he looked around and cursed. The stairs were no longer an option for their exit. He quickly located the nearest window-- fairly large for a basement window, but unsurprising for an art studio's main ventilation option.

 

He lifted the limp body over his shoulder, ignoring the pain in his leg as he opened the window, sliding the man through before following himself. Once they were outside, he dragged them both to the far side of the yard, out of harm's way.

 

Finally clear of the collapsing walls and raging flames, he ripped his helmet and gloves off, checking for signs of life. The man's breathing was shallow, but was steady and he breathed a sigh of relief for it.

 

Having made sure that the man didn't need immediate resuscitation, he picked him up again and headed for the front of the house where the ambulance was waiting. He did his best to hide the pain in his leg, but couldn't keep from limping before his fellow firefighters took the man from him, offering him a helping hand.

 

“You Goddamned idjit!” The Chief came running up to him, giving him a rough smack to the shoulder. “How many times do I have to tell you, you can't just go running in on your own trying to play hero, boy! How bad is it?”

 

“It's nothing. I'm fine, Bobby.” Dean tried to blow it off, but the Chief could see in the way that he was leaning that he was lying.

 

“Get in the ambulance.” It was clear that it wasn't a request. Dean almost tried to make an excuse, but decided that it wasn't worth it. There was no one else in the house and the other guys could handle the fire part without him just this once.

 

He sat off to the side in the back of the ambulance, trying to stay out of the way of the EMTs as they took care of the mystery man from the basement. When they tried to look at his leg, he was hesitant to let them, but knew that Bobby would kick his ass if he put up a fight about it. He even kept his mouth shut when they cut his favorite new pair of jeans; the boys would be so proud of him.

 

He spent most of the ride zoning out, trying to ignore the pain in his leg. As much as he wanted to blow it off, he knew that it was bad enough that he wouldn't be back on the job for a while. The worst part about that would be being stuck at home with nothing to do and with no one to keep him company.

 

Once the pain killers kicked in, Dean let himself relax a bit, waiting for the inevitable. Having already been a couple of hours, he was sure that his only visitor would be dropping by at any moment.

 

As if on cue, a peppy redhead waltzed in, plopping down at the end of his bed, seemingly without care for his discomfort. “Sup?”

 

“Just a scratch, nothing to write home about.” Dean pretended to be annoyed, but they both knew better.

 

“Then why are they making you stay until Tuesday?” She propped her feet up on the chair that sat empty next to the bed. “Also, you're scheduled for surgery in an hour...”

 

Dean would ask how she knew about his stay time, but he knew better about that as well. “Didn't you say you were gonna stop hacking?”

 

“But it's so much fun...” She groaned, unable to hide her cheeky smile. “I'll ask again. ' _Sup?'_ ” She raised her eyebrows for emphasis.

 

“They're just gonna put a few screws in me, no big deal.” Dean was always one to downplay his own problems, typically in exchange for taking care of someone else.

 

“For the record, a few months ago when I told you that you needed a good screw, this was not what I was talking about.” She had been present when Dean's last long-term relationship went south and had been recently insisting that he get back on the proverbial horse, especially now that he had his place to himself.

 

“Oh shut up.” He hit her with one of his overly fluffed pillows. “Think you can sneak me in a burger? I'm starving.”

 

She got up, giving him a big hug before heading out. “I'll see what I can manage once you're out of surgery.”

 

“Thanks, Charlie.” Of all the people that had come and gone from his life, few were as important to him as her. At first, he didn't think that they had a lot in common, but they were having a beer one night at the bar and Dean noticed her checking out their waitress. They shared a look and laughed and were inseparable after that night.

 

She was the only person that Dean could be 100% honest with about everything without worrying about judgment. She was the first person that Dean came out to and she was the one that helped him come out to everyone else. He knew that his brother would accept him with time and most of his friends, but he really struggled with telling the guys at the station.

 

With her help, he worked through it and now, the people that truly cared about him are closer than they've ever been. He owed her so much happiness that he wished he could pay her back for.

 

When he came out of surgery, his head was foggy, but he saw red and smelled beef, so he did his best to shake it off. Just when he thought he was getting his bearings, he was seeing double. He rubbed his eye, trying to clear his vision. “Charlie, why's there two of you?”

 

She laughed at his slurred speech. “I bet you wish there were two of me.” She waited for his vision to straighten out before attempting to explain. “This is Anna, she wanted to see you.”

 

As his sight clarified, he could tell the difference between the two of them, recognizing the other woman from the street earlier. “Hi.” He meant to say more, but was still working on getting all of his functions back under control.

 

“I'm sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to say thank you.” Dean could tell by the sound of her voice that she was barely holding back her tears. “No one would listen to me, they were just going to leave him in there... If you hadn't gone in...” She didn't have it in her to finish her sentence.

 

“You're welcome, Anna.” He always felt weird being praised for doing his job. To him 'you're welcome' seemed like he had done someone a favor, as if saving someone's life was something optional that he could have just not done. He had learned quickly, though, that the 'thank you's weren't about him or how he felt, so he went with it and always let people say their peace.

 

“I'm so sorry that you got hurt.” She sat in the chair next to his bed and placed her hand on his arm.

 

“It's nothing, really. How is your brother doing?” Dean never did like people doting on him, so he was quick to change the subject.

 

“He's going to be fine. They're keeping him overnight to make sure that there's no damage to his lungs, but they're not expecting any complications.” She smiled through her tears as she spoke.

 

“Glad to hear it.” Dean couldn't help but smile back at her sincerely. “Really, I am.”

 

Much to Dean's surprise, Charlie stayed quiet the entire time, letting the two have their moment. But, it was only a moment. “I wonder if her brother's as hot as she is...” She dropped the greasy paper bag on the bedside table and got comfortable.

 

“A little egotistical, don't you think? She could be your twin.” He'd been trying to avoid the subject of his love life for a long while and Charlie's enthusiasm for the subject has only been growing.

 

“Come on, have you seen me? You're the only one that doesn't want a piece of this.” She started to work on her own burger, letting him out of the conversation only because she felt a little sorry for him. Surely that would wear off soon enough.

 

With a continued source of pain medication and a full stomach, Dean slept right through the night, even with the uncomfortable bed and a streetlight shining in directly into his eyes. The clock on the wall read just past 10, but he was already hoping that Charlie would save him from the hospital food with an early lunch.

 

He sorted through the channels on the television, frustrated when he made it back to the beginning without having found anything remotely tolerable. He clicked it off when he heard a knock at the door, not caring who it was, just glad for the distraction.

 

He expected Charlie or a staff member, maybe even Anna again, but what he didn't expect was messy curls and the brightest pair of sapphire eyes he's ever seen. “Are you Dean?” His voice was gruff and it echoed through Dean's ears.

 

“Yeah. Can I help you?” He tried to not stare, but he found himself unable to look away.

 

“You already have. I'm Anna's brother. You saved my life yesterday.” He moved to the side of the bed, sitting on the edge of the chair. “I feel like saying 'thank you' doesn't really cover it, but thank you.”

 

Dean nodded, sitting up a little straighter, licking his lips subconsciously. “What's your name?”

 

“Castiel.”

 

“Castiel.” Dean repeated it, just to hear how it would sound rolling off his tongue. “Are you on your way home then?”

 

“Well... Not exactly.”

 

“Right, sorry... I didn't mean-” Dean was so distracted by Castiel's lips as he spoke, he wasn't thinking about the words he was saying.

 

“It's fine, I know what you meant.” Castiel smiled a little. “I have some legal business and then I have to find a place to stay. It will be a long day.”

 

“Not staying with your sister?” It didn't even occur to Dean that he may be overstepping his bounds by getting into Castiel's personal life.

 

“She's from out of town. So are the rest of my friends and family. What about you? I'm guessing you're not going to be working for a while. Will you be okay?” The concern in Castiel's rough voice is an obvious sign that he was feeling guilty about what happened to Dean.

 

“Oh yeah, I'll be fine. The department has insurance for these kinds of things...” Dean normally would hate someone worrying over him, but the way Castiel looked at him was something that he could get used to.

 

“Are you sure? If there's anything I can do for you, Dean, please let me know.” The sincerity was a breath of fresh air for Dean.

 

“Of course.” Not wanting their conversation to be over so quickly, Dean jumped back to his earlier line of questioning. “So, where are you going to stay if not with family or friends?”

 

“A motel? I hadn't really thought about it. There's just so much going on, you know?” He breathed a deep sigh that quickly turned into a rough cough.

 

Dean leaned over, putting a hand on Castiel's shoulder as he waved his hand, insisting that he was fine. “You okay?” He offered the man a bottle of water that had been left for him.

 

“Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.” The took a few small sips, clearing his throat. “The doctor said that I might have a few coughing fits over the next couple of weeks, but they shouldn't be too bad.”

 

“Those fits can get serious, you really shouldn't stay in a motel alone until you're better.” The mother hen in Dean was coming out quickly. “You should stay at my place.”

 

“I should what?” Castiel was caught off guard by the suggestion, his response coming out a little more harshly than he'd meant it.

 

“Sorry, that was a weird way of saying it... I have a recently vacated bedroom if you need a place to stay temporarily.” Dean stumbled over his words, worried that he's upset Castiel with his request.

 

“Thank you, but I think I've caused you enough problems...”

 

“Honestly, you would be doing me a favor. It's going to be tough for me to get around for a while and I'm gonna go nuts in an empty house by myself until this cast comes off.” Dean surprised himself with his honesty. It's almost unthinkable for him to admit his weakness to someone without being pressed about it.

 

Dean smiled at him a little, trying to talk him into it with his eyes. “Plus, I went through all the trouble of saving you, I would be offended if you coughed yourself to death in some dingy motel room.”

 

Castiel smirked back at him, knowing he had to agree but not at all upset by it. “I guess it's the least I can do.”

 

“Stop by after you're done with your errands. I'll have a friend bring my keys by and she can show you around.”

 

“You won't be there?” Castiel couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

 

“Unfortunately, I'm stuck here until tomorrow morning at the earliest.” Dean didn't even try to hide his disappointment. “If Anna wants to stay with you, there's plenty of room. I would feel a lot better knowing you weren't alone.”

 

“I'll let her know.” Castiel stood to leave, a quiet smile in place. “Thank you again, Dean.”

 

Dean smiled brightly at him. “See you later, Cas.”

 

\- TBC -

 


	2. Chapter 2

Charlie sat at the end of the bed with her eyebrows up, waiting for Dean explain himself.

“I just figured we could help each other out, you know? He can drive me around and I can make sure he doesn't die. It's not a big deal.” He'd fully expected to be grilled when he told her what he'd offered Castiel.

“Right, of course.” She was obviously poking fun at him. “You just thought that you would invite the hottest guy I've ever seen to live with you, tending each others wounds until you're both all better...”

“When you say it like that it...” Dean knew that he hadn't really thought it through, but he couldn't help himself. He was worried about the other man and honestly, he was so tired of being alone, though he wouldn't admit that out loud to anyone but her.

“You sure you're ready?” She handed him his crutches, helping him get situated as he made his way out of the bed.

“You make it sound like we're eloping or something. I didn't invite him over to hook up with him, I'm just worried. I feel responsible for the guy.” After a few adjustments, the crutches were the right height. “But... Maybe. There's something about him...”

She nodded, trying to hide her joy at the fact that Dean is finally ready to even entertain the idea of seeing someone romantically. “You know, it's been almost a year since anyone besides you and me has been in that house...” They walked down the hallway slowly, Dean getting used to walking without putting weight on his left leg.

“Seems like longer.” Dean changed the subject before he could start to brood. “Thanks again for showing them around and helping them get settled.”

“No problem. I gave Anna my number. You know, just in case they need anything.” She winked at him playfully.

\- At the House -

Castiel wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, maybe a bachelor pad or maybe a small apartment, but he was surprised when Charlie pulled up in front of a large house in the middle of suburbia. The inside of the house was warmly decorated, the walls scattered with pictures and well-loved furniture. It was big, but cozy.

After showing them to their rooms, Charlie had to leave, apologizing about having things to get back to. She exchanged numbers with Anna just in case and told them to help themselves to anything that they might need.

They ordered food because Dean's kitchen was practically empty. After dinner Anna went to bed, leaving a restless Castiel wandering the house out of boredom. He'd never really watched much TV, so there was little to do by himself and without his art supplies, he had no way to channel his excess energy. He stopped in front of the fireplace, running his hand across it absentmindedly.

There were a lot of photos on the mantle, of a lot of different people, some older and some newer. One of the more recent pictures caught his eye. It was Dean at a bar with a girl on his lap. They were clinking their beers together and laughing. He thought it was a little odd that such a casual picture would be in such a nice frame, but then he noticed the ring on her finger. It must have been an important day.

Moving on was a much older, worn picture of a family. He recognized Dean as one of the children immediately, probably 5 years old, he guessed, with his baby brother or sister and his parents. They looked happy.

The next one made him laugh. It was of Dean and Charlie dressed in medieval garb, brandishing swords. He smiled to himself as his fingers traced the outline of the frame. He couldn't place exactly what he was feeling as he looked around, taking in Dean's life story one picture at a time, but he liked it. It was nice.

Feeling content, he made his way up the stairs and settled into bed. Normally, he would have problems sleeping somewhere new, but he slept well, like he was home.

When Castiel makes it out of bed the next day, barely before noon, he and Anna went to the store to go shopping, picking up enough groceries to last the week or so. If Dean was letting him stay at his house, the least that he could do was make sure that they ate well. Anna always told him that he was a great cook and it was something that he enjoyed, so it was a win-win.

Anna got a text when they were done unloading. Release delayed, we'll be there at 6. Need anything? She texted Charlie back immediately. We're fine, thanks. Everything okay?

Just paperwork. Ugh! They kept up, chatting lightly through the day while she and her brother continued to run small errands. Castiel had to get new credit cards and follow up with paperwork from his insurance, among other things, but he made sure that they were back by 5.

Anna walked him to the door when they got back, hugging him closely. “I wish I could stay longer...”

“Don't worry, I'm fine. Thank you for staying this long, I know you have a lot going on.” Castiel was sad that she was headed back home so soon, but she was only supposed to be in town for a day in the first place and he knew her schedule was tight when he invited her to visit.

“You sure you'll be okay by yourself?”

“Dean and Charlie will be here soon. I'm just going to make some dinner while I wait, I'll be okay.” Castiel missed the way that Anna was always took care of him before he moved so far away. He felt homesick already as he said goodbye, watching her drive off before going inside.

An hour later, Dean hobbled out of the car, insisting that he didn't need help. Charlie stood back, hands in the air, ready to laugh at him if he fell. She would help him up, of course, but she would laugh first.

He let her get the door, swinging his legs as he stepped in. Just across the threshold, a familiar scent hit him and he closed his eyes almost like he was being sent back in time to relive a vivid memory.

The smell of apples and cinnamon filled Dean with happiness as he stepped into the house. “What smells so good in here?” He managed to sneak up on her, grabbing her around the waist, planting kisses on her neck.

“I made a pie.” She put her hands out as if she were introducing it, still wearing the oven mitts she used to take it out with.

“...Is that what that's supposed to be?” Dean took a step back immediately, knowing that he was going to get hit for that comment.

She came at him swinging the mitts, laughing. “Don't make fun of it! I've never made a pie before!” She couldn't be mad because it really was terrible to look at.

He pulled her close, disabling her ability to hit him, reaching past her to pull an apple chunk from the center. “Hot! Hot!He struggled for a moment, having not realized that the reason she had the mitts on was because it had just come out of the oven. “Well, it tastes good and that's all that matters, I guess.” As he struggled to cool it after putting it in his mouth, he did enjoy the taste.

She smiled, proud of herself and glad to see that he liked it. “We should put it out of its misery.”

“That would be the merciful thing to do.” Dean nodded solemnly, trying not to laugh as he let her go to grab two forks from a drawer to her left.

“I bet you that we can eat this entire pie in one go.” She looked over at him deviously, as if challenging his abilities and love for pie.

“I like the way you think.” Dean smiled brightly at her. “You get the pie, I'll grab the beers.”

He walked through to the kitchen in a haze, the memory leaving him both happy and sad, like any memory of her did. “What smells so good in here?” Thinking back, he couldn't help but ask the same question out of habit.

“I made a pie.” Dean's stomach twisted into a knot when Castiel replied. “I also made dinner, but it's still in the oven.” Dean collected himself as Castiel continued talking.

“You didn't have to do-” He cut himself off as he caught sight of the delicious-smelling pie. “That... Is the most beautiful pie I've ever seen.” He didn't know what to even say about it. Every apple pie he had ever had was chunky, but Castiel's apples were sliced thin and layered from the outside in. It almost looked like a rose the way that it swirled.

“Thanks.. I don't mind, I like to cook, so... I figured it's the least I can do for you letting me stay here. Also for saving my life.” Castiel noticed that Dean looked a little uncomfortable and wasn't sure if it was something that he had said or done. “If that's okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I appreciate it.” Dean tried to shake off whatever awkwardness he was obviously putting out. He could tell that Castiel had noticed and was thankful that he hadn't said anything about it “It's been a while since I've had a home-cooked meal.”

“I'm almost done in here, if you want to get settled in. Is Charlie here?” It's sort of odd how natural the words sound, like they've been doing this forever. There's a tension in the air, but at the same time, it's so familiar.

Dean watched Castiel slip on the old red oven mitts, glad when Charlie answered for herself. “Just putting Dean's stuff away. I wish I could stay, 'cause that looks amazing, but I still have a lot of stuff to get done. The internet isn't gonna run itself!” She said her quick goodbyes and went on her way.

Dean got comfortable on the couch, on the end next to the big recliner that used to be his dad's favorite spot to sit. Sometimes when Dean had a rough day, he would sit in the recliner and pour himself some whiskey, but normally it sat empty. He must have drifted off to sleep for a moment, but his head snapped up when he heard Castiel setting a plate down in front of him.

It was lasagna and garlic toast and it smelled, and looked, really good. “Thank you.” Dean doesn't hesitate digging in, giving Castiel a thumbs up to show his approval. They made small talk while they ate about how Castiel's errands went and where Anna was.

When Castiel went to take his plate, Dean felt useless for not being able to help. “Thanks. Sorry I can't help much.”

“I don't mind.” Castiel smiles a little at him, not wanting to make Dean feel bad about their situation. He was really happy that he could help take care of Dean after what he did for him. “Pie?”

“Oh, god yes.”

After dessert, Dean turned on the TV, shouting to Castiel in the kitchen. “Do you want to watch anything?”

Castiel came around the corning having finished the minimal after-dinner cleanup. “No, thanks, I'm not much of a TV person. I think I'm going to take a shower and call it a night.”

Dean nodded to him, stretching out on the couch with his leg propped up on a pillow on the coffee table. It didn't take long before he drifted off again.

He had no idea how much time had passed, all he knew was that he was more comfortable than he had been in a long time. He felt soft skin and smelled strawberry shampoo. He smiled, burying his face deeper into the warmth.

Castiel sat on the couch somewhat nervously as Dean cuddled into his arm, smiling and mumbling something he couldn't quite make out. He'd come down after his shower to see if Dean needed help to get upstairs and ended up sitting on the couch, debating between waking the man up or letting him sleep on the couch.

While he tried to decide, he got distracted by the TV. He wasn't sure what movie it was, but it was intriguing and he found himself watching it, Dean snoring lightly beside him. By the time the credits rolled, Dean had leaned onto him, his hand resting lightly on Castiel's arm.

“Dean...” He shook Dean's shoulder gently, trying to wake him. “Wake up, Dean.” Dean opened his eyes slowly, looking up at the voice talking to him.

When they made eye contact, he was prepared for a weird moment, but Dean didn't seem embarrassed or annoyed. He looked confused and sad, his brow furrowed and his eyes glistening. Seeing such a look of sorrow in Dean's normally vibrant green eyes bothered him.

It was only a moment before Dean came to his senses and laughed it off, covering up the hurt look, hoping that Castiel hadn't seen it. “Cas... Sorry, man.” He started to sit up, reaching for his crutches. “These pain meds have me kind of out of it. I guess I should head to bed.”

“Yeah, of course.” He tried to ignore what he'd seen, knowing that Dean probably hadn't intended to show him that expression.

At the stairs, Dean tried to make his way up, but was in too much of a hurry to focus. His crutch slipped off of the second one and he stumbled back a couple of inches, right into Castiel.

“Careful.” He kept his hand gently on Dean's upper back as they went up one slow step at a time. At the top, Castiel wanted to make sure he's okay. “You got it from here?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Dean mumbled quietly. He was embarrassed that he had tried to make a speedy exit from the awkward situation only to make it worse. Thankfully, Castiel hadn't mentioned it or looked offended.

Dean was able to sleep for a few hours before nature called, begging his attention at the most inopportune time. He flicked on his bedside lamp, but it didn't light up. “Dammit.” The bulb had burned out, but hadn't had a chance to go buy a new one. He let his eyes adjust to the dark for a moment before reaching out for his crutches.

He used them to feel his way across the room. He knew where everything was at, but the pain meds really were messing him up. He made a mental note to talk to the doctor about an alternate prescription.

He made it to the bathroom just fine, but after being in the bright light, making his way back was harder. Not used to the extra width that the crutches added on, he knocked into the dresser, bumping it and stumbling.

He managed to stay upright, but he heard the crash and shattering of something he'd knocked off and cursed at the pain in his leg as he'd steadied himself on it without thinking.

“Dean?” Dean heard a small voice from beside him and his instincts took over, pushing Castiel up against the wall before he knew that he was doing. Good to know that even with his head all messed up, his reflexes were still good. Or so he thought until he heard Castiel wheezing and he realized what he'd done.

The shove must have knocked the wind out of him and he was struggling to regain control over his lungs. “Shit! Cas, I'm sorry.” Dean reached for the light switch and felt even worse when he looked down. The slightly shorter boy was even smaller, hunched over with a hand on his chest as he coughed.

When Dean put his hand on Castiel's shoulder, he leaned back, sliding down the wall, still raking in deep breaths. Dean sat down as quickly as he could, his leg jutting out sideways. He tilted Castiel's head up to look at him, making sure he was all right.

“You okay?” He's worried when he doesn't get a reply right away and the bright blue eyes flicker closed instead of focusing on him. Dean's heart almost stopped in a moment of panic, his hands moving to check for a pulse.

“Cas? Come on, look at me.” He found a pulse, but his breathing was still not back to normal.

“Dean?” He was slowly coming around, his hands clinging to Dean's arms without either of them noticing. “Got dizzy...”

“I know, I'm sorry.” Dean kept his hand on Castiel's cheek until he looked at him. “You snuck up on me, I didn't mean to...”

“It's okay, I'm fine now.” Cas looked around the room, trying to see what all the ruckus was about that had him in Dean's room in the first place. He saw a few pieces of shattered glass a couple of feet away from them, next to a picture frame.

Dean, leaning against the dresser, noticed Castiel looking and reached over, grabbing the glass-less frame, running his fingers over the picture that was still inside.

Castiel noticed that it was Dean and the same girl from the mantle. They were resting against the roof of a black car, Dean with his arms around her. Castiel didn't know enough about cars to tell what kind it was, but it was definitely a classic. She was smiling at the camera and Dean had his eyes closed, kissing her cheek.

“Who is she?” His voice was quiet, wanting to know, but not wanting to upset Dean or overstep into territory that might be too personal.

“Jo.” His eyes didn't stray from the picture, but they seemed like they were looking into the past, remembering. “She was my fiance.”

Castiel didn't have to ask to know that she hadn't just decided to leave him. “What was she like?” Instead of asking what happened, he decided it would be safer to ask about her.

“She was a pistol.” Dean smiled to himself a little bit. “Hardheaded, independent... Loyal almost to a fault.” Castiel almost thought that he was going to stop, but after a short pause, he set the picture down and looked up. “We grew up together.”

The way that he looked at her picture made Castiel want to hear about her. She was clearly very important to Dean and that somehow made her important to Castiel too, even though he didn't really understand why. He sat quietly, not pressuring him to talk, just listening.

“She was like a little sister to me for years. If you had told me when I was 10 that I would want to marry her, I would have called you crazy, but... One night we were at the Roadhouse and things got out of hand with a customer. He pulled out a gun and we fought... A stray bullet hit her, but it was just a graze.”

Dean let out a quick chuckle thinking back, which struck Castiel as a little off since he was mentioning how she'd been shot. “When I had him pinned down, she came over and kicked him.” Castiel smiled back at him, understanding. “After it was all over, I thought about how lost I would have been if I'd lost her.”

“When was that?”

“6 years ago.” It was easier than Dean thought it would be, talking about it. Maybe enough time had finally passed, or maybe it was that Castiel was just easy to talk to. Either way, as much as it hurt to remember, he was glad that he could talk about her without breaking down. “We were engaged, but...”

“You don't have to...” Castiel could see that while it was easy to talk about the good things about her, the other parts were still difficult for him.

“I want to.” Dean let out a small smile, hoping that Castiel would want him to continue. Taking Castiel's constant stare as a sign to go on, he continued. “We were engaged, but two months before the wedding we were in an accident. We were driving home after visiting family in South Dakota when we were t-boned by a semi.”

Without thinking, Castiel moved his hand to rest on Dean's, trying to comfort him in even a small way while he talked through one of the most painful memories of his life.

Dean surprised himself a little when he accepted the small touch. He normally hated to be comforted or doted on, it made him feel helpless. He didn't like pity, but he could sense that Castiel didn't pity him. The look in the other man's eyes simply said 'I want to help ease your pain' without any judgment or ulterior motive.

“We were in the middle of nowhere... The ambulance took too long, when they got there...” For the first time, Dean felt himself losing his grip. His lip trembled and his eyes stung. “She was awake for a few minutes after. I just held her and I begged her to hold on.”

Castiel leaned in, resting his head on Dean's shoulder, hoping that it wasn't something that would offend or cause discomfort to Dean. When the solid shoulder tensed, he thought for a moment that it was a mistake, but Dean quickly loosened up and continued, his grip on Castiel's hand still firm.

“I've dedicated my life to saving people, but I couldn't save her.” Dean's spare hand came up to his eyes to wipe away the tears before they fell, letting out a shaky sigh. He leaned his head down, resting it on top of Castiel's, taking in the scent of strawberries. “You used her shampoo from my bathroom.”

“It's okay. There probably wasn't any in the other bathroom.” Before Castiel could take it as an accusation, he had continued. “When I was sleeping on the couch, I was dreaming of her. Then, when I woke up I was so warm and I smelled it...” Dean didn't even notice that he was essentially nuzzling Castiel's hair, so caught up in the memory. “For just a second, I thought that it was her.”

“To have her back, even for just a moment...” Dean placed a small kiss on top of Castiel's messy, strawberry-scented hair. “Thank you.”

Castiel didn't even attempt to speak, knowing that nothing that he said could help. He just stayed still, giving what he could: His warmth and support.

A comfortable silence fell over them, neither of them having any real way to tell how long it lasted, but neither eager to break it. When Dean felt his eyes starting to close, he reluctantly lifted his head. “We should get back to sleep.”

“Watch out for the glass.” Castiel warned him as he helped Dean off the floor and into bed before heading back to his bed. Back in his room, he shifted under the covers and stared at the ceiling, not entirely sure how to feel about what had happened. While he was happy that Dean had shared so much with him, he couldn't help but wonder what that meant for them.

They had only just met and yet they had some sort of connection that he couldn't label. Sure, Dean had saved his life and he was grateful, but that alone wouldn't explain the spark that ran through him when Dean kissed him and held his hand.

It wasn't long before the softness of the bed overtook him as he fell asleep thinking about Dean's touch.

\- TBC -


	3. Chapter 3

When Dean woke up, it was to the smell of bacon and he smiled, burying his face in his pillow. Last night, he thought that he would wake up full of regret for having told Castiel so much about his past, but he felt great.

Even though they just met, Dean felt a great connection to Castiel. He felt immediately as if he could trust Castiel and last night, he was proven right. He had told him about the best and worst time of his life and Castiel had done nothing but support and comfort him.

And now, he was making bacon.

He took his time making his way down the stairs after getting dressed, not wanting to kill himself before he could have breakfast. “Hey.”

“Good morning.” Castiel is patting the bacon dry, offering Dean a piece that is gladly taken. “How do you like your eggs?”

“Smothered in bacon grease.” Dean joked as he munched on the pepper-crusted bacon. “Over medium, thanks. So, what are you up to today?”

“I was thinking about finding a realtor.” He talks distractedly, cracking a few eggs into the pan.

“Already?” Dean hadn't meant to sound so obviously disappointed.

“Oh, no. Not for a house.” Castiel chuckles a little at Dean's eagerness. “I need a studio space so that I can keep working.”

“Right, you're a painter, huh?” Dean tries to steal another piece of bacon, but receives a quick smack to the hand.

“Yeah, how did you know?” Castiel turned to him, a little surprised.

“In the fire, I saw some of your paintings in the basement.” Dean leaned against the counter casually.

“Oh.. Right.” Castiel tried to sound indifferent to it, but he really hadn't processed the fact that he'd lost everything he owned and all of the paintings he'd done.

“Hey.” Dean reached out, taking a hold of Castiel's hand, momentarily taking his attention from the eggs. “I'm sorry.”

Castiel nodded, giving the hand a light squeeze before turning back to the stove. When his back was turned, he smiled widely, turning the stove off. “Go sit, I'll bring it over.”

When they were sitting at the table to eat, Dean had an idea. “I have a basement you could use for your studio, if you want. Might take a little cleaning, but it's big.”

“Are you sure? I don't want to impose...” Castiel really liked the idea, but he didn't want to take advantage of Dean's generosity.

“I'm not really using it, but if you insist on paying for a space, then paint me something and we'll call it even.” Dean devoured breakfast quickly, hoping that Castiel would take him up on his offer.

Castiel thought about it for a moment, deciding that he could always rent a space later if the arrangement with Dean fell through for some reason. “Deal.”

“Well, let's go check it out.” Dean smiled brightly, incredibly glad that Castiel agreed. He grabbed his crutches, leading the way to the stairs.

“Wow, this is big.” Castiel looked around, pleased at the amount of space and light available. Dean was right, it would need a little organizing and cleaning, but it had a lot of potential.

“If we move these boxes over there-” Dean pointed around. “You'll have a lot of space by the big window. We can put some fans up in the smaller ones...”

“Perfect.” Castiel smiled at him, eyes lighting up. “Well, I have a lot to get done then.”

“I'll take care of it. You need supplies, right?” Dean stood next to him, tempted to touch Castiel, even in a small way. “Why don't you go do some shopping?”

Castiel wanted to ask exactly how Dean was going to move a dozen boxes and mount fans with his crutches, but the look on his face told him that he had an idea. “Okay.” He let his hand glide over Dean's arm as he walked past, heading for the stairs.

Alone in the basement, Dean pulled out his phone, smiling to himself.

A few hours later, Castiel pulled up in front of the house, not expecting to see a familiar black car in front, along with another he didn't recognize but could only describe as 'a beater'. He grabbed a few items from his trunk, making his way through the front door.

Dean heard him coming through the door and yelled from below. “Hey, down here!”

Coming down the stairs, he heard quite a riot. He was surprised to see Dean sitting with two other men, beers in hand. The space was clean and organized, totally ready for him to work.

“Cas!” Dean put his beer up in the air with a huge smile on his face. “Guys, this is Castiel. Cas, this is Benny and Garth.” Dean introduced them, pointing them out as he said their names.

“Nice to meet you.” Benny tipped his hat and then offered him a beer from a small chest on the floor beside him.

“Hey.” Garth stood to shook his hand, they both seemed like friendly guys. “We work with Dean at the station. Glad to hear you're doing okay.”

“Thanks. Did you guys do all this?” No wonder Dean had been so confident that he would take care of it, calling in reinforcements. He had a seat at the bottom of the stairs, sipping his beer, obviously a few behind the others.

“Yeah, figured it was the least we could do...” Something in the way that Garth spoke sent a silence through the room, and confusion showed on Castiel's face, prompting him to elaborate.

“Benny and I were on the first response team that went through your house. We didn't see you when we were in the basement. The place was collapsing, they were gonna start hosing it when Dean showed up and ran in.” Both mean clearly felt guilty about their mistake. “I'm sorry, man. We feel so bad about it, we were just so sure that the house was empty...”

Castiel looked at Dean, unsure of what to feel about what he'd just learned. “It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes.”

“Yeah, but usually they don't end up killing someone.” Benny finished his beer, standing up, followed by Garth. “We're gonna head out. You ever need anything, you let us know.” Castiel stood to get out of their way, nodding. He knew that the man meant literally anything.

Dean and Castiel walked with them to the living room, thanking them again for their help. When they were alone, Dean stood, waiting for Castiel to speak. “Why didn't you tell me?” His big blue eyes were filled with questions.

“What? That I pulled you out of the fire? You knew that.” Dean couldn't read Castiel's expression, but he hoped that the man wasn't angry with him.

“I didn't know that the house was already collapsing when you went in. That's not the same, you could have died!” Castiel's voice was full of concern and distress. There was a huge difference to him between Dean saving him from a burning house and honestly risking his life running into a house that was already coming down.

“It was worth it.” Dean held his gaze, waiting for Castiel to raise his voice again.

He was at a loss for words staring into Dean's green and gold eyes, looking for answers. Instead of speaking again, he stepped forward, pressing his hand to Dean's cheek. “Dean...” He froze, waiting to see if Dean would pull away.

When he didn't, Castiel leaned in, his forehead resting against Dean's, his eyes closing. “Cas...” They both shivered, feeling the breath of the other against their lips. Not able to hold himself back any longer, Castiel tilted his chin, bringing their lips together with a pressure too light for Dean.

Dean let his crutches fall to the ground, his hands moving to Castiel's waist, pulling him closer. He parted his lips, wanting to taste Castiel.

Castiel inhaled sharply when Dean tugged him closer, his lips opening involuntarily. He didn't mind, though, as Dean pulled his bottom lip between his, sucking on it. Castiel's hands moved to the back of Dean's neck, fingers stroking the edge of his hairline, massaging the skin of his neck while his grip kept Dean as close as possible.

He ran his tongue along Dean's, pulling back only to tilt his head before continuing. The feeling of Dean's rough stubble was balanced the softness of his lips. Castiel pulled Dean's bottom lip between his teach, nipping it enough to make Dean groan.

It had been far too long since Dean had been touched and Castiel was too perfect, he felt like his body was on fire. His hands moved of their own accord, snaking their way inside Castiel's shirt, his skin smooth and warm as they make their way up his back.

Castiel jerked back, pushing away from Dean almost enough to knock him over. His hands moved to his shirt, pushing it back down, smoothing the fabric.

“Cas...” Dean reached out to him, steadying himself on his good leg. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” When Castiel took another step back and put his hand out in front of him, Dean dropped his hand, giving him space.

“No...” Even from a few feet away Dean can see that Castiel is shaking as his hand runs through his hair. “It's not you...” Dean waits for him to get his thoughts together, not speaking. “I'm sorry, it's my fault.”

“Hey, it's okay.” Dean took a hesitant step forward, putting as little weight as possible on his left leg. “Cas, whatever it is, it's okay.”

“I just...” As much as he wanted to run away, like he always did, Castiel wanted Dean more. He was terrified of the idea of telling Dean about his past, but the thought of pushing Dean away, like so many other people before him, was far worse. Dean told him about Jo, even though it was painful... He felt so strongly that he could trust Dean.

He tried to continue to speak, but he couldn't, his voice refusing to work. Instead, he took a step back and began lifting his shirt.

Dean was enjoying the sight of Castiel without a shirt, but was completely confused, watching him wring the shirt in his hands. He stayed silent for fear of saying something that would upset Castiel, waiting for him to make a move or to speak. When he turned around, exposing his back to Dean, he had to bring his hand to his mouth to keep himself from cursing.

On his back there were countless scars, barely darker than the rest of his skin, but raised enough to stand out. Without thinking, he reached his hand out to touch, regretting it when Castiel flinched. Instead, he put his hand on Castiel's shoulder and placed a kiss on the back of his neck.

He took a step back, giving Castiel space when he noticed that the scars weren't random. Having been looking at them up close, he didn't see the pattern. “Wings?” They were crude, but the overall image was still discernible.

Castiel turned around to face him again, but his eyes stayed on the ground. “He called me his angel.” His shoulders were tense and his entire body was shuddering.

“Who?” Dean could feel a rage inside of him building at the sight of Castiel so shaken, thinking about what kind of pain someone had put him through.

“Luke.” Castiel could barely say his name without flinching. “My ex.”

Dean hobbled over to the couch a couple of feet away. “Come sit down.”

Castiel put his shirt back on and sat next to Dean, leaning into his arms right away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dean stroked his hair.

After a long pause, feeling the safe warmth of Dean's chest, Castiel began to speak. “I never really had any friends. My parents were very religious and were deeply involved with the church. I was home schooled until I graduated and any free time that I had was spent at the shelter or the church.”

Dean held onto Castiel's hand, stroking the back of it to let him know that he was listening. “When I told them that I had been accepted and wanted to go to college, instead of joining the church, taking over for my father... They didn't take it well. My father said 'no son of mine would turn his back on God' and told me to leave.”

“I packed a bag and stayed in a motel for a week until I was able to move into my dorm room. Luke was my roommate. I know now that he was taking advantage of me, but at the time, I had just lost everything and I felt so alone... When he reached out to help me, I was so grateful and so naive...”

“At first, it was great. He was supportive and kind... He told me he loved me and he became everything to me, we did everything together. After we graduated, we moved in together and we became more than friends, that's when he started to change. He didn't work, he drank every day, he kept me from seeing other people outside of my job...”

“We fought. A lot. He told me that it was my fault that my parents hated me. He said that if I didn't do better for him that I would push him away too. He was all I had, so I tried harder. I defended his actions because I was so scared of losing the only person that I thought had ever really loved me.”

Castiel felt like an idiot looking back. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been. “One night, I came home from work and found him with another man.”

“Luke?” Castiel didn't know what to say when he opened the bedroom door and saw another man in bed with his boyfriend. “What's going on?” He let the other man walk past him without giving him even a glance.

“Angel... I thought you were going to try harder, huh? Instead, it's just the same old, same old. How am I supposed to be happy if you don't care about me?” His voice was soft and sweet as he played the victim. “I had to find someone that would care about me.”

“I tried...” His eyes watered, his hand slapped away as it reached out, fire burning in Luke's eyes.

“Not hard enough. I guess you really don't care...” His words were full of venom, the alcohol on his breath more pungent than ever before.

“I do care! I love you, Luke...” Castiel sat down on the bed, his head in his hands. “Maybe I'm just not good enough for you. You deserve someone better.”

Luke grabbed him by the arm as he tried to walk out the door. “Where are you going?”

“I'm leaving. I tried, but I'm not good enough, I never will be. You should find someone better than me.” Castiel tried to get out of the grip, but was only met with more force when he struggled. They'd fought a lot, but Castiel had never tried to leave before and it struck a chord, sending Luke over the edge.

“You can't leave me, Castiel.” Luke pulled him in tight, but Castiel wiggled out of his grip. Before he was at the door, he heard a crash and everything went black.

When he woke up, he panicked, unable to move his arms. He tried to scream, but his mouth was covered with tape. He turned his head, trying to see what was happening, but all he could see was Luke sitting on top of his thighs, his hands and shirt covered in blood. “You can't leave, you're my angel...” Luke kissed his neck and Castiel felt a sharp pain as he made another cut in his back, slowly dragging the blade from top to bottom.

After several cuts, Castiel passed out again, the pain and cruelty too much for him to bear. When he woke up a second time, he felt dizzy and numb, looking around he realized that he was lying on clean sheets and his arms were free.

“Shh, it's all right.” Luke stroked his hair, trying to calm him. Castiel was too afraid to speak. “I gave you some medicine for the pain. I'm so sorry I had to hurt you, but you gave me no choice...”

Castiel's head was cloudy and he could barely move, his body felt heavy. “Don't worry, angel, I forgive you.” His head was reeling, something inside of him had finally snapped and he realized what a monster Luke was.

Over the weekend, Luke tended his wounds and kept telling him that they were going to be happy now and that everything would be better since Castiel understood that they belonged together forever. Castiel had no idea what Luke had done to his back, having been too medicated to leave the bed to look, but he knew that he was lucky to be alive.

Sunday night, Castiel had managed to convince Luke to let him go to work the next morning, telling him that he wanted to be able to give them nice things so that they could be happy. Sleeping through the night without the medication that Luke had been giving him was hard, the pain was so intense, but he could feel his mind clearing.

In the morning when they kissed, Castiel tried not to shiver at his touch. He left with nothing but the clothes on his back and his wallet. He didn't go to work, heading off in the opposite direction. He didn't know where he was going, but he drove and he drove, stopping only to eat.

16 hours later he was somewhere in Ohio. He could feel the blood on his back sticking to his shirt and probably to his upholstery too. His eyes were heavy from looking at the road so long.

He made a few stops to get only the essentials: painkillers, bandages, food and whiskey. Once he was stocked up, he stopped at the first motel that he came across. When he checked in, he medicated, ate and showered.

“I stood in front of the mirror for so long... Part of me didn't want to know what he'd done.” As Castiel told his story, Dean did nothing but caress him, whispering sweet words of encouragement, helping to ease him.

“There were so many times during that drive that I had thought about turning around... I thought that maybe I had overreacted by leaving and that if I went back, he would forgive me... But then I felt that pain and it reminded me that he would probably kill me if he saw me again.”

Castiel sighed into Dean's chest. “When I finally looked, I wasn't surprised. It's weird, but I felt relieved. I knew that I had made the right decision by leaving.”

“I was there for a few days, trying to decide what I was going to do... I was coming back from getting food when I saw him pull into the parking lot of the motel. I panicked, I didn't know how he'd found me. He must have tracked my credit cards or my phone... I just started driving again.”

“I threw my phone out the window. I didn't stop until I was in Kentucky. I went to the bank and emptied my accounts, I cut up my credit cards... When I checked into a room there, I paid the front desk clerk to keep quiet if anyone asked about me.”

Dean didn't think that he could hold Castiel any tighter than he already was, but he wanted to. He wanted to hold him until he forgot all about what had happened. “I changed my name and laid low for a couple of months.”

“I met a man named Gabriel one night.” Castiel could feel Dean tense underneath him, ready to hear the worst. “Anna's brother.” He clarified. “I don't know how he knew what kind of trouble I was in, but he figured me out. He told me that he could help me really disappear. I wasn't sure if I could trust him, but he gave me documents. Really detailed documents...”

“He set me up to stay with Anna in Missouri while he took care of everything. A few months later, I was officially Castiel Milton. They took me in and saved me; They've been my family ever since.”

Castiel sat back, his heart swelling when he saw that Dean's eyes were red. He reached out, cupping Dean's cheek, his thumb running across the edge of his lips before he moved forward to kiss him softly.

“You're the only one I've ever told.” Dean leans in to kiss him again, almost as a way of saying 'thank you'. “A lot of people have left me because I wasn't able to tell them, or show them... I didn't want that to happen with you.”

When he didn't speak, Castiel was worried that he was overwhelmed by his past and was not willing to deal with his baggage. Really, Dean just didn't know what to say.

“Cas, I'm so sorry.” He pulled Castiel to him, whispering in his ear. “I'm not going anywhere.”

Castiel looked into his eyes, seeing nothing but kindness. He looked up at Dean and they kissed. It was sweet and caring, but also desperate and emotional. It had been so long for the both of them since they had been held by someone in a non-platonic way.

Castiel had felt broken for so long, wondering if anyone could ever love him and if he could ever love anyone back. When he realized that Dean was just as broken as he was, he wondered if they would be able to fix each other. For the first time in a long time, he wanted to try.

\- TBC -


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up fairly early, unimaginably hard with images of blue eyes and soft lips still in his mind. He spread out in his bed, considering a cold shower, but ultimately ruling against it. There was already a chill in the air and the thought of cold water hitting him was not appealing.

He reached down, adjusting himself with a long, lazy rub, licking his lips. He rolled onto his stomach, eyes closed as he slid against the sheets. He sighed quietly as he tried to remember his dream. All he knew for sure was that Castiel was there and Dean was touching him.

Be pressed his face into his pillow to mute the groan that he couldn't contain. It had been almost 4 months since Castiel had moved in and he was getting more distracting by the day. Dean knew that he had to be patient with him, given his past relationship, and he didn't mind, but more often than not, he had been waking up either hard or sticky.

He and Cas had fallen into a very physical relationship, as PG-13 as it may seem. They touched as often as possible, mostly in innocent ways. Dean loved to plant small kisses on Castiel's neck when he cooked and Castiel enjoyed putting his head on Dean's lap when they watched movies. Sometimes Castiel would bring food to the station, and even though they weren't very physical in public, even the smallest touch of their hands could brighten Dean's day.

The fact that Castiel was stunning to look at hadn't escaped Dean's attention, but even as he rocked against the warmth of his bed, picturing those full lips, he knew that it was much more than that. He was honest and trusting and he made Dean feel like he had a purpose again.

He never thought that he would fall for someone so different than Jo, but it didn't get much more different than Castiel. Not only were they opposites physically, but inwardly as well. Maybe he liked Castiel more because of that. He didn't feel like he was replacing her, which was something he had struggled with for a while.

Jo was also beautiful, no doubt about that, but there was something otherworldly about the depth of Castiel's eyes and the way that he smiled. When they first met, he thought Castiel to be shy and reserved, but over the weeks, he had learned that he was just slow to trust and open up. Every day he saw Castiel coming to life a little more and he fell a little harder. He was pleased to learn that Castiel was very quick witted and funny on top of everything else.

Dean pulled the dirty sheets off of his bed, throwing them into a basket before putting his boxers on. He headed down stairs and into the basement to take care of his now messy linens, not thinking that he would find Castiel there so early. Apparently he hadn't heard Dean come down the stairs, focused on his work.

Dean set the basket down gently, coming up behind Castiel, hands finding their way to a familiar place around his stomach. He rested his head on Castiel's shoulder, about to kiss him when he looked at the canvas. “Is that my painting?”

“I just finished it.” Castiel set his brush down so that he could rest his hands on top of Dean's. “I couldn't sleep.”

Dean stared at it, taking it all in. It was beautiful. It was a watercolor of a storm across a dark road. The rain looked like it was the sky itself melting, the clouds almost looked like they were moving. In the distance there was a light on the horizon, just the beginning of a sunrise. It was a very dark, muted painting except for the familiar, bright red taillights that streaked across the wet road, reflecting off of hundreds of raindrops, bringing the painting to life.

“It's perfect.” He meant it. When he looked at the painting, he felt like it represented him perfectly, a man weathering a storm, hoping for a sunrise to send the rain away after so long in the dark. “Thank you.”

Castiel made a small 'hmm' as he ran his fingers across Dean's hands, content to spend all day being held. He always felt a certain joy when finishing a piece and this one was even better because it was for Dean and it meant so much that he liked it.

“Breakfast before the barbeque?” Dean closed his eyes, reveling in how wonderful his day was already.

“No.” He wasn't ready to let Dean go just yet. He had been more and more eager for Dean to touch him in the past few weeks. “Stay.”

Dean had always let Castiel make the first move, not wanting to push too hard or too far for him to handle. When Dean wanted to touch him, he would start with something small, maybe a soft kiss or a light caress. It would be up to Castiel after that, to either let things remain the same or to allow for more.

Once Dean knew that he was okay with something, he felt okay about initiating those types of interaction, which is why he didn't ask for permission to run his hands up the front of Castiel's shirt. Castiel sighed softly, letting his head fall back and his eyes close. He reached a hand up, running his fingers through Dean's hair around the back of his neck.

Dean's heart was racing as he decided to reach lower with his other hand, fingers playing just below the elastic band of Castiel's pajama pants. He could feel the skin under his fingers quiver, slightly ticklish, but Castiel didn't move his hand to stop him. He just dug his fingers in slightly harder to the exposed skin at the base of his hair, putting more of his weight against Dean's strong chest.

Castiel's breathing was beginning to speed up as Dean's hand moved inside of his pants, slowly moving its way down his thigh. He could feel that Dean was eager to touch him and he also knew that he would never actually do it without his permission. It drove him a little crazy that Dean had such control over himself, holding back when he was so close to what he wanted, waiting for Castiel. It made him feel empowered, which is something that he had never felt when it came to sex.

Castiel tilted his head, just enough to place a string of wet kisses across Dean's jaw, letting out a small murmur against his stubbly chin. He gasped into Dean's ear when his hand barely grazed against him, sending a shiver through his body. Taking that for a sign of approval, he palmed Castiel slowly, easing into a full-blown stroke.

“Dean...” It was a whisper, but with Castiel's lips against his ear, he heard it loud and clear. He could feel Castiel's knees shaking as he moved from base to tip, twisting the tender tip. As Dean kneaded him, his chest began to rise and fall more quickly, his lips shaking against Dean's skin.

“Dea-n.” His breath caught, and the sound had Dean reflexively grinding against Castiel's backside, letting out a groan of his own. It had only been a few minutes since he took care of himself upstairs, but the way that Castiel was moving against him had him harder then he thought possible.

When Castiel pulled his head away, Dean moved right in, his lips below Castiel's ear, kissing the soft skin of his neck. It took him a moment to realize that Castiel wasn't adjusting, he was pulling away. He tried to hold in the heavy sigh he felt when he lost contact, but it escaped before he could stop it. He didn't want Castiel to feel like he was upset with him for stopping.

Before disappointment could fully take hold of him, Castiel turned to face him, crushing their lips together, roughly, but briefly. When he pulled back, he looked Dean in the eyes, cheeks flushed. “Let's go upstairs.”

Dean stared at his lips before meeting his gaze. “Are you sure?” His throat tightened a little as he waited for an answer. He could feel Castiel pressed against him, hoping that it was an accurate indication of how much they both wanted to continue.

“Yes.” Dean could feel Castiel's hand shaking against his chest, but he didn't know if it was because he was nervous or excited.

Up until that morning, they had only ever made out. There had been once when they'd both come, but it was entirely due to over the clothes rutting, not something that they had been trying for. When they got to the top of the stairs, hand in hand, Dean had expected that they would get comfortable on the couch like they had before.

When Castiel tugged his hand in the direction of the main stairs, his brain almost stopped working. Castiel wanted to go to the bedroom. He felt like he was in high school, staring down his virginity again, throat dry, palms wet.

Dean suggested Castiel's bedroom, partially due to his sheet situation, partially due to wanting the younger man to feel as comfortable and safe as possible. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, encouraging Castiel to straddle his thighs, putting them in a very stimulating position. Castiel pressed against the muscles of Dean's stomach while Dean's length fit perfectly in the cleft of Castiel's backside.

Castiel liked that Dean was intuitive enough to know that he preferred to be on top. They had talked about his past in more depth since the first night Dean saw his scars. Luke had never raped him, but he never really had a say in how they did it either and most times, Luke hadn't cared for his comfort much. He'd had too much sex with his face pushed into a mattress.

Castiel kissed Dean, his hands on either side of his face, shoulders tense. Not only could he feel Dean sliding so close to his entrance, but he could feel the dampness of his boxers. Even now, he could stand up and walk away, knowing that Dean was leaking with want, and Dean would understand. Oddly enough, the fact that he could walk away without consequence was something that made him want to keep going.

He lifted himself just slightly before pushing back again, making sure that both he and Dean were getting ample friction as he rocked. Dean instinctively ran his hands down past Castiel's hips and into his pants, ending up on the taught curve of his ass, massaging the soft skin while using the leverage to pull Castiel closer to him.

Their lips broke apart, both panting as Castiel wrapped an arm around Dean's shoulders, hugging close. His other hand pushed his pajama bottoms down, exposing his heavy cock, catching Dean off guard. “Shit, Cas...”

The difference between 2 layers on cotton between them and a single layer was immeasurable, but it wasn't enough for Castiel. He reached down between both of their legs, freeing Dean from his boxers. “Fuck!” Dean bit his lip but failed to keep himself from cursing, astonished by Castiel's sudden boldness.

Dean was murmuring sweet, hot words in Castiel's ear, lips grazing and nipping the skin nearby. He enjoyed the feel of Castiel's skin, both pliant and firm in his hands, but when he looked down and saw Castiel wet and red, he couldn't resist. He took Castiel's shaft in his hands again, this time running his thumb across the tip, spreading the wetness that had long since been seeping out against his chest.

When Castiel felt Dean's hand on him again, his body jerked and he dug his teeth into his muscular shoulder. There was no more shyness or uncertainty, he knew that he wanted Dean completely. He reached his hands behind him, taking a gentle hold of Dean's hardness, holding it still as he slowly lowered himself down onto it. He almost came when Dean let out a deep groan against his neck, sending a shiver down his spine.

Touching him with one hand, he used his other to support Castiel's weight as he writhed in his lap, back arching as he came down. Castiel's arms wrapped around him again, so close that their noses were touching. He looked at Dean with his eyes half-closed and lips parted. Dean couldn't help but take those full lips in his, running a hand through Castiel's sweat-dampened hair as they moved together.

Castiel's breathing was labored and he was lightheaded, overwhelmed by the sensation of being surrounded by and filled with Dean, feeling and tasting him all at once. He offered up a desperate moan as he came, but it was muffled by the mingling of their tongues.

Dean kept his grip tight until Castiel was spent, knowing that he wasn't far behind. With both hands free, he gripped Castiel's ass, holding it down so that he could push upward, burying himself deep inside until moments later, when he found himself also overcome by intense pleasure and need.

Castiel kissed him softly while he rode out his orgasm, himself already startling to settle into the afterglow, a smile on his face. They slowed, Dean having a few last, lazy thrusts as their chests heaved together, foreheads resting against one another, lips mingling lightly.

Dean brought a hand up to Castiel's cheek, stroking it gently as he let out a shaky laugh and kissed him again. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them really wanting to separate until absolutely necessary.

When Castiel's alarm clock started going off, they smiled at each other and Castiel began to lift off of him slowly, sighing as he felt Dean sliding out of him, leaving an empty but satisfied feeling behind. He pulled his pants up, shutting the alarm off as Dean tucked himself back into his boxers.

They kissed in the bathroom as they cleaned themselves up before heading downstairs to make breakfast and pack.

“We have everything, right?” Castiel questioned as he locked the front door. Dean looked over the contents of the trunk one more time and shouted back in the affirmative before closing it, heading for the driver's side.

It was the first time since the fire that he was going to drive the Impala. It was already and excellent day and the rest of it was going to be filled with friends, beer and pie. Dean thought that he may have died in his sleep last night because he seemed to be in heaven.

He leaned across the seat, giving Castiel a quick kiss on the cheek before rolling out. Every year the Fire Department did a Thanksgiving BBQ at someone's house a week or so before Thanksgiving and he was excited to be able to bring Castiel with him. Castiel had spent the entire day before preparing and baking an assortment of pies, with high expectations having been set about his pie skills.

When they pulled up to the house, there were several cars already surrounding the house and a full driveway. They were greeted by Garth and recruited him to help carry things in.

“Hey, I'm glad you made it, Cas!” Garth smiled at him brightly and sincerely, having really taken a liking to Castiel. “You made pie, right? Dean goes on and on about your pies, man.”

Castiel laughed and nodded as Dean made a face that said 'shut up, Garth'. Walking through the back door into the yard, there were a lot of people he had met, mostly when he visited Dean at the station, but there were several he didn't know. He assumed that they were mostly significant others, but looked forward to meeting them.

“Zeke! This place is nice...” There was a chill in the air, the the yard had a large fire pit and the grill was going, providing a good amount of warmth. Some people were mingling inside, but most were outdoors.

Ezekiel walked up, leather jacket on top of a hoodie to keep him warm. “Thanks, I just moved in a couple of weeks ago. Almost lost it, but the seller had a change of heart, I guess.”

“Zeke, this is Castiel.” Dean introduced them, offering a beer. “Hey, do you know if Cupid's gonna be here?”

“He texted last night, so yeah, should be.” Ezekiel excused himself as more people arrived.

“Cupid?” Castiel raised an eyebrow at Dean.

Dean laughed, realizing how silly a name it sounded to an outsider. “He's an old friend. His name's Lex, but he has this thing for playing matchmaker. You'll like him, he's a fun guy.” They found a spot around the pit to sit, propping their feet up to keep them warm. “True story: First time we met, he was drunk, naked and hugged me.”

They laughed and chatted for a bit, both of them meeting some new people, but mostly Castiel. They were pulled away from a conversation about how Dean likes his meat (many dirty puns intended as Castiel blushed) when someone yelled out at Dean.

“De-De!” Castiel looked over to see a round face with a huge smile headed their way with Dean on the way to meet him.

“Cupie! Hey!” They had a big, manly hug and he waved for Castiel to come over. “Cas, this is Cupid, the guy I was telling you about earlier.”

“This is Cas?” There was a look of shock on his face for a second before he broke out in a wide smile. “No, shit.”

“Um, hi?” Castiel was confused, but hugged back slightly when Cupid pulled him in.

“Sorry, I was expecting a girl.” He put his hands up and smiled. “I don't mean to offend, I promise. Dean just gushed about how wonderful and gorgeous you were and I just assumed. That's my bad. Let me go get you a drink.” He patted Castiel on the shoulder and walked away before he could reply.

Castiel looked up at him and smiled a little. “You went 'on and on' about how gorgeous I am?” He teased Dean, his fingers surreptitiously mingling with Dean's.

“Only to a couple of people.” Dean took his hand, leaning in as they talked. “He'd been in cahoots with Charlie about getting me back out there for a while. When you came along, I told him about how I felt about you to shut him up, but it backfired. He kept interrogating me.”

“Cahoots?” Castiel was having such a good time, he was really letting himself loosen up, enjoying meeting Dean's friends and opening up. “When did you tell him about how wonderful and gorgeous I am?” He loved teasing Dean when he got the opportunity, which wasn't all that often.

“I called him from the hospital.” Dean's smile became a little more serious, glancing down at the ground.

His brow furrowed slightly as he worked out what Dean meant. “That night? We'd just met...”

“I guess I just knew.” Dean's thumb stroked the back of his hand.

Castiel just stared at him for a moment, searching for any sign that he was joking, coming up empty. He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything, he reached a hand out to cup Dean's cheek, leaning in for a heartfelt kiss. He wasn't sure how he'd ended up with the most patient, caring, romantic man ever to exist, but he wasn't going to take it for granted.

They broke when they heard a string of whistles and claps, Cupid slinging his arms over both of their shoulders, handing Castiel a new drink. “You guys are too cute. Come on, food's ready.” Castiel was slightly embarrassed, but everyone seemed to either approve of their affection or not care, so he shook it off.

They spent the rest of the evening hanging out and catching up, everyone praising Castiel's pies for both their appearance and taste. On the ride home they talked about holiday plans. Bobby had invited them to come with him to Nebraska for Thanksgiving and Dean told Castiel that he really wanted them to go, so they agreed.

When they pulled up to the house, they decided to leave the cooler in the trunk, Dean opting instead to grab the mail while Castiel had a small stack of leftovers that Zeke had insisted they take off his hands.

“Anything in there for me? I'm still waiting on papers about that project. They should have been here by now.” Inside the doors, they headed for the kitchen while Dean flipped through the papers.

“Nope, all me.” He stopped at the back, looking at a Christmas postcard with an image of cartoon angels on the front singing Christmas carols. He flips it over, skimming across the address on the back. “And some guy named Jimmy Novak that apparently lives here.” He assumed it was a mistake, but the address is right.

“What?” Castiel's voice is hard and cold, his eyes wide.

“Just a wrong address.” Dean hands him the postcard, thinking nothing of it.

Castiel looks at the image and he's almost too scared to flip it over, but he has so know what it says.

My Angel,  
It's been so long... I can't wait to see you. I hope you've missed me.  
XOXO

“What's wrong.” Dean can see the color draining from his face as he looks at it, his stomach feeling suddenly unsettled.

“I have to go...” Castiel doesn't look him in the eyes, he just drops the postcard and tries to push past Dean. 

“Cas, what's wrong?” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, refusing to let him just run off like that. At first, he was met with a struggle, but Castiel quickly collapsed in his arms, folding down to the floor in a heap.

Castiel tried to answer him, but he couldn't speak. He couldn't even stand or breath, much less speak. Dean sat with him on the floor, rocking back and forth with him. “Please, Cas... It's okay. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. You don't need to be afraid.”

“It's me...” He can barely get the words out between gasps, on the verge of hyperventilating. “I'm Jimmy Novak.”

It took Dean a moment to realize what that implied. He looked back over to the image of angels on the card and his stomach sank. Castiel's real name never came up in conversation after that one night, but he understood what it meant. They both know who sent that card.

Dean looked around with a wary eye, almost expecting someone to pop out at them. “Listen Cas... Look at me.” Dean coaxed his eyes up. “I won't let you get hurt. If he comes near you, I'll kill him.” The look in his eyes was deadly serious.

Dean helped him stand, wiping the tears from his eyes. “We're leaving. Now. Let's go pack a bag.” Dean indicated for Castiel to stay behind him as they walked back to the living room. He stopped at an old chest, pulling out a white-handled gun, making sure it was ready to go.

He checked that it was all clear before going into their rooms, getting ready. They threw the bags in the back seat of the Impala and sped off, heading for the highway.

During the long drive to the Roadhouse, neither of them slept and they barely spoke, but Dean held Castiel's hand. Dean hated that there was nothing else that he could do, but he hoped that Castiel would feel better the more distance was between them and that postcard would ease his mind a little. It was certainly making him feel better.

\- TBC -


	5. Chapter 5

It was almost 8 in the morning when they pulled up to Ellen's house, both red-eyed. Dean had called her earlier that morning when they stopped for gas, warning her that they were coming in almost a week early. He didn't get into the details, but he let her know that it was an emergency situation.

She greeted Dean in the driveway with a hug, whispering something in his ear that Castiel was too out of to here. “Ellen, this is Cas.” He introduced them and Ellen pulled him into a hug as well. His first impression was that she gave off the vibe of a mother bear claiming Castiel as one of her own. He appreciated her taking the time to make him feel welcome given the circumstances.

“Let's get you boys inside.” Inside, she put on some coffee and let Dean show Castiel to the bedroom they were going to stay in for the next week.

“Get some sleep. I'll be in in a minute.” He stroked the sides of Castiel's face before giving him a quick kiss. He needed to go get their bags and talk to Ellen before he could settle in.

Castiel wanted to tell Dean to stay with him, but he was too exhausted. He nodded, shedding his clothing down to his underwear, letting Dean tuck him in. He hoped that he was tired enough to sleep without dreaming, worried what type of dream he might have if he did.

Downstairs, Ellen lifted the pot up to Dean in a silent question. “I'm good, thanks. I want to try to get some sleep in a few.” He sat down across the table from her, his hands rubbing across his tired, bloodshot eyes.

She sipped her coffee, waiting for him to start talking.

“Thanks for taking us in on such short notice. I just don't think Cas is safe at my place...” Dean didn't want to betray Castiel's trust by sharing his secrets, but he felt that he owed Ellen at least a partial explanation. “His ex sent a postcard to the house.”

He could tell that she didn't really understand how that was such a big deal, so he elaborated. “This guy is bad new, El. He hurt Castiel. Almost killed him.” Dean couldn't decide between being sad or angry when he mentioned it.

“Give me his info, I'll give it to Ash.” Ellen knew that Dean wouldn't involve her if it wasn't serious, so she would do everything that she could. She'd have Ash track the guys credit cards, run his plates and anything else they could to pinpoint what he might be up to.

Dean handed over a card that he had Castiel fill out with everything that he knew about Luke, including a physical description. It had been hard for Castiel to remember specifics after spending so long trying to forget everything about that part of his life. “Thanks. I'm gonna go get our bags and try to get some sleep. We'll see you at the Roadhouse later.”

Ellen nodded at him, looking down at the card, twisting it in her fingers. She'd be damned if she was going to let anyone hurt her boys. She finished her coffee and headed to the bar.

Upstairs, Dean laid down behind Castiel, pressing his chest against the sleeping man's back. He held him close, falling asleep faster than he thought he could, too tired to stay awake any longer.

When Castiel woke up, it was early afternoon and Dean was stroking his shoulder, planting slow kisses on his back. He rolled over, facing Dean while keeping the older man's arm over him, snuggling into Dean's protective embrace.

“You know that I would never let anyone hurt you, right?” Dean rested his chin on top of Castiel's head, feeling it when he nodded. “I would do anything to keep you safe.”

Castiel felt his eyes watering, overwhelmed more by Dean's statements than their situation. His whole life he'd always felt like he was someone's problem and a disappointment. Every time he tried to have relationships after Luke, it all came down to people not wanting to waste their time trying to fix him. He was too much effort.

But Dean was different. Dean treated him like it was a privilege to take care of him; to protect him. He acted as if someone had given him a gift instead of a burden. If Castiel could live his life a hundred times over, he would do it the exact same way if it lead him to Dean.

Dean made Castiel feel strong, like he could do anything if he were with him. Dean already risked his life to save him once, so Castiel owed it to him to trust that they would be okay, no matter what happened. He took a deep breath and decided that he would believe Dean when he said that it will be all right.

“You hungry? I told Ellen we would stop by the Roadhouse.” Castiel nodded again, reluctantly letting Dean pull away.

At the Roadhouse, Dean introduced Castiel to everyone that he knew, which was a lot of people. It was the kind of place that you would go to for the rest of your life, not just stop in every now and again, so pretty much everyone was a regular. It made Castiel happy to see how comfortable and at home Dean seemed at the bar.

Watching him talk with Ellen, he could imagine what Jo must have been like. Ellen was a take-charge, hell-raising kind of woman, much like how Dean had described her daughter. They spent a few days hanging out at the bar and around town, seeing what little there was to be seen. They spent a few nights out in the middle of nowhere, lying on the ground, watching the stars.

Their first day there, Ash had started working on finding Luke, but it had was an intense search and he hadn't come up with anything useful yet. It made Dean nervous to not know what Luke was up to, but Ash was the best. If he didn't have anything useful, then there wasn't anything useful to be had.

The day before Thanksgiving, Dean and Castiel drove to the airport to pick up Sam and Jess. They were flying in from Sacramento, where Sam and Jess had just relocated. “So, how's the new job, Sam?” Castiel had spoken several times with both Sam and Jess and quite liked them both. Sam seemed like a great guy and Jess reminded him of Anna, but with a little more sass.

The trip from the airport to the small town they were staying in was long, giving them plenty of time to catch up. “It's great. I've been putting in a lot of extra hours so I could take the extra days off this weekend, but I can't complain.”

“And the house?” Dean leans his head back so that he doesn't have to yell to be heard in the back seat. When they moved, Jess and Sam had decided to buy their first house. They'd been there a few months shy of a year, but Dean hadn't had a chance to go visit them yet.

“Not going to work out after all.” Sam said nonchalantly.

“What? You spent months searching, you wouldn't shut up about how perfect it was and how we just had to come and see it!” Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sam looked over at Jess, smiling like they had an inside joke between them.

“Turns out it's not big enough.” Sam could see Dean looking at him in the rear view mirror like he was crazy.

“That's what you loved about it! 'It's so cozy', you said.” Dean was amazed at what he was hearing. The two of them had been trying so hard to get Dean and Castiel over there to visit so that they could see it.

“Well, when we bought it, I wasn't pregnant.” Jess piped up, a smile spreading across her face as soon as she'd said it.

“WHAT?” Dean shouted, looking back at them in the mirror, trying to stay focused on the road. “Seriously?”

“We were going to tell everyone at dinner tomorrow night, but yeah. We found out last week.” Sam kissed Jess on the cheek, putting his hand on her still perfectly flat stomach.

Congratulations came from all around the car, everyone excited for them. They talked about babies and new houses and at some point, Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and smiled at him.

Back at the Roadhouse, Castiel and Jess started helping Ellen with the food preparation for tomorrow's dinner while Sam and Dean went to the back room to talk with Ash.

“This is everything I've got.” Ash turned the computer screen to show Dean a complex series of windows and tabs that were actively tracking Luke.

“He's staying at the Sleep Easy Motel, driving a white '97 Cutlass Supreme. This here-” He pointed to a window that looked like an accounting log. “Is tracking his credit card purchases in real time. Last purchase was half an hour ago at the Kwik stop about a mile from you place.” Dean ground his teeth. He knew exactly how close that gas station was to his house.

“I set it up so that any updates will send a notice directly to your phone. Check it out.” He pushed a few keys and Dean's phone buzzed. When he looked at the message, it was an update of the most recent activity from all accounts. “It'll also let you know if his plates are run or if he has any contact with the Police or any other major government organization.”

“Thanks, Ash. How's the security system coming?” Dean had asked Ash if he knew someone that could have a security system installed while they were gone, just as a precaution.

“My buddy Rick got it all set up this afternoon. I've got the video feed coming here and I can set your phone up if you hand it over.” Dean did as he was asked without hesitation. “If the alarm trips for any reason, it'll alert you.”

“Not the Police?” Dean questioned him, doubtful that it was an oversight. Ash didn't really do oversights.

“Do you want it to alert the Police?” Ash held out his phone, but didn't let it go as he asked the question, his eyebrows raised.

Dean looked at him, thinking carefully. “No.” He didn't want to involve the Police, for Castiel's sake. Who knew what kind of trouble Castiel could get into if the Police started poking holes in his identity.

“Didn't think so.” Ash flipped his hair over his shoulder after finally handing over Dean's phone.

“Dean, what are you going to do when you guys get back?” Sam had been leaning against the pool table, worrying. With everything done, he and Dean went out to have a seat at the bar.

“I'm not sure. Find him and beat the Hell out of him?” Dean reached behind the bar and grabbed them a couple of beers.

“Dean...”

“I know, I know.” Dean took a big swig. “I just... I can't risk him hurting Cas. I can't.”

Sam was surprised to hear such desperation in Dean's voice. He knew that Dean liked Cas, but the way that Dean talked about him and looked at him when he thought that Castiel wasn't paying attention took it to a whole other level. “Does he know?”

Dean looked up at his brother, confused. “What?”

“That you're in love with him.” Sam clarified.

Dean's first reaction was to deny it, but his mouth hung open for a moment with no sound coming out. He tried again. “I haven't told him yet.”

“You should.” Sam turned on his stool to face Dean more directly. “Look, Dean... I don't know what's going to happen, but this Luke guy isn't just going to go away and I think you know that.” Sam wasn't trying to upset Dean, but they had always been real with each other. “You should do what you can for him now.”

Dean was going to reply when Bobby and Charlie came in through the front door shortly before Castiel and Jess came wandering out of the kitchen. Charlie was going to ride with Dean and Castiel, but when they left early, they stranded her. He can only imagine what the ride with Bobby must have been like, given their personalities.

“Just in time!” Jess ran up to the older man, giving him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. Charlie took her hug as well and stuck her cheek out, insisting on also getting a kiss. Jess laughed and obliged, Charlie winking at Dean afterward.

“For what, exactly?” Bobby apparently wasn't the only one out of the loop.

“For this.” Ellen came into the room holding a beat up, old acoustic guitar.

“No, no...” Dean set his beer down and put his hands in the air, refusing to take it when Ellen tried to hand it to him.

“What?” Castiel was looking around, no clue what was going on.

“Dean is going to play us a song.” Jess smiled at him sweetly, as if to say 'I dare you to deny me' as she let her hand move just so slightly to her stomach.

“Dammit.” Dean sighed and took the guitar. “That's not fair and you know it.” He carried it over to one of the dining chairs where the position would be better for playing.

“I didn't know you played guitar.” Castiel looked at him with awe.

“He sings too.” Jess dragged Castiel to a seat in front of Dean, locking her arm with his at the elbow. She laughed at the look on his face.

“Well, get to it.” Bobby settled in, trying to pretend that he wasn't at least a little amused at Dean's predicament.

“Hold on, I don't just have a song ready, jeez. Is this thing even tuned?” Dean strummed a little, torn between being irked and pleased to find that it was tuned.

“You're welcome.” Ash hollered from the back of the room, making his way over.

Dean couldn't help but laugh, looking up across the room, seeing everyone that he cared about in front of him, happy. When his eyes settled on Castiel, a song came to mind. He began to strum.

Castiel's eyes were glued to Dean as he started to strum and tap, looking down at the guitar as he played.

Guess it's true, I'm no good at a one-night stand, but I still need love 'cause I'm just a man. These nights never seem to go to plan. I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all I need. This is love, it's clear to see, so darling, stay with me.

Dean's voice was softer than it usually was, but it was still gravelly underneath. Castiel couldn't believe that Dean just kept getting more and more attractive. The sight of his dark lashes against his cheeks as he focused on his playing and Dean's smooth voice were making him melt.

Why am I so emotional? No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control. Though deep down I know this love can work, 'cause when you lay with me, oh, nothing hurts.

Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all I need. This is love, it's clear to see, so darling, stay with me.

He continued to strum, humming along as repeated the chorus a couple of times before the song came to an end. When his eyes finally came up, they went straight to Castiel. Everyone clapped, but Castiel just smiled at him.

“Come here.” Dean pulled a chair up beside him, motioning for Castiel to join him as he checked his phone. “All right, guys, settle down...” Dean set the guitar down, but picked up his beer, giving him something to fiddle with as he spoke.

“It's officially Thanksgiving, and I'm not usually one for sappy stories and sentimentality, but I have a few things to say. You all know that this last year hasn't been easy for me...” He looked at Ellen, knowing that she knew better than anyone how he felt. “I wondered at first if I could ever be happy again. You've always been there for me, all of you, but there's a different type of loneliness that family can't fix.”

“You all tried to help me, but I didn't want to move on. I thought that getting close to someone would somehow dishonor Jo's memory. I was wrong. If she were here, she would have punched me for being such an idiot.” They all laughed a little, knowing he was right.

“Everything about you, Cas...” His eyes were glistening as he put his hand on Castiel's cheek, brushing the slightly stubbly skin. “She would have loved you.” He paused for a moment, taking in a nervous breath. “I love you.”

Castiel wasn't even embarrassed by the tears that slid down his face as Dean leaned in to kiss him. He heard a couple of sniffles from the audience as well, everyone trying to stay quiet while Dean finished speaking.

He cleared his throat a little, trying to regain control over his emotions. “So, um... Thank you, all of you, for weathering this storm with me. I know it hasn't been easy, but I think the sun's finally coming up.” Castiel was the only one that knew the true meaning of those words, a clear reference to the painting he did for Dean.

Everyone cheered, talking amongst themselves while Castiel kissed Dean again, hugging him afterwords. “I love you too, Dean. So much...”

Dean gripped him tightly, so happy to hear him say it back. No matter what happened when they got back to Lawrence, to know that Castiel loves him is all that matters. God help anyone that would try to come between them.

\- TBC -


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just realized I never posted the last two chapters to this! Sorry!

About an hour away from home, Dean's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, glancing down with his eyes still mostly on the road. His stomach turned when he saw that it was an alert from the alarm that Ash's friend had set up.

Dean dialed Ash's, unable to get the video feed from the cameras to work. "Hey, you made pretty good time, huh?"

"We're not home yet. The alarm went off, but I have no video. Can you check it out?" Dean's voice was harder than he meant, but he was on edge as he glanced over at Castiel. Now was not a good time for the alarm to be going off.

"Yeah, just a sec, man." Ash made his way to the back room, checking his computers. "Looks like he cut the cameras, but didn't get the motion sensors."

"Shit." Dean growled into the phone. What good was the system if it was so easily trashed?

"Want me to call the cops?"

Dean thought about it for a moment before deciding against it. "No, just... Keep an eye out for anything and keep me posted." As he set his phone on the seat between himself and Castiel, the car fell silent.

"Dean.." Castiel looked over at him, hesitant to break the hush. "What are we going to do?"

"'We' aren't going to do anything- I am going to drop you off at the station and then go to the house."

"You can't-"

"It's not up for discussion. I'm not letting him near you." Dean looked over at him with a harsh look, making it clear that he didn't care for Castiel's opinion on the matter.

"Okay." Castiel knew that Dean wouldn't listen to him and it bothered him until he thought about how concerned Dean was for his safety. He knew that Dean had enough to worry about without arguing about it, so he agreed.

Dean sighed, looking back to the road, glad that Castiel wasn't going to put up a fight about his decision. They drove the rest of the way in silence, classic rock humming quietly in the background, barely audible over the sound of the engine.

Pulling into the station, Benny and Ezekiel walked out to greet them, both having heard through the grapevine what had happened. Neither knew the full details, but they knew that the two had left town in a hurry and that was enough to send the whole department in a protective frenzy.

Castiel leaned against the car while Dean spoke with the two of them in hushed tones, stone faces all around. Dean yelled for him to join them after a few minutes of discussion.

"Come on with me, now." Benny motioned for him to head inside, a forced smile on his face. Castiel did as he was instructed, but not without looking at Dean one last time, eyes full of worry, silently begging him not to do whatever it was that he was going to do.

Castiel sat down on an old beaten-down leather recliner that reminded him of the one at Dean's, sinking into the fluff, hands tapping his legs nervously. Benny sat across from him on the couch, fingers running through his scraggly beard as he sighed. "Dean's gonna be all right, don't you worry about him."

Castiel wanted more than anything to believe that Benny was telling the truth, but he had a sinking feeling that he couldn't shake. Benny continued to attempt to make small talk with him, for several minutes, barely able to get a response. Castiel was too stuck in his own head to let out more than a 'hmm' or 'yeah'.

It was when Ezekiel walked past the door that Castiel knew something was wrong.. "I thought he was going with him?" Castiel looked over to where Ezekiel had been then back to Benny, eyes wide, his heart beginning to beat faster. "You let him leave alone?"

Benny sat on the edge of the seat, trying to connect with Castiel in a way that would help calm him down. "Listen... Dean's tough. And he's smart. He'll be fine." He spoke softly, but firmly.

"Benny, he can't..." Castiel stood, eyes drifting back to the door, contemplating making a run for it, his entire body feeling the need to be by Dean's side. "He can't go alone."

"I know you're worried, but I promised him that I would keep you here and I ain't the kind of person that goes back on their word." Benny stood, not missing the way that Castiel's entire body was tensing up as his gaze was stuck on the door.

"Then you go. Or Zeke. Or anyone, he just can't go alone! Luke will kill him." He was starting to shake as he spoke the words out loud. Luke would kill Dean if he had even the slightest chance, there wasn't a doubt in his mind. The thought of that happening made him feel sick.

Benny's solid stance wavered slightly as the color drained from Castiel's face. "I know this guy's bad news, but-"

"You don't know!" Castiel shoved him, the impact barely budging his solid frame, but it got the point across that he was serious. "What did Dean tell you? That he's just some angry ex looking for a fight?"

He didn't give the bulky man a chance to reply before he continued. "He's sick. He tried to kill me." Castiel was scared, but he was also furious. He  **had**  to make Benny understand the danger that Dean was in. "I didn't just leave him, I faked my own death and got a new identity, Benny. He's been tracking me for years. He isn't just an ex, he's a psychopath." He was at a loss for breath when he was done speaking, his eyes glistening, tears of frustration preparing to fall.

Benny's expression held firm as he listened to what Castiel said, but couldn't shake the feeling in his stomach that Castiel wasn't exaggerating. People didn't go to such lengths to end a relationship unless they had to.

"Okay." Castiel headed for the door as soon as the word left Benny's mouth, but a hand reached out to stop the smaller man. "You ain't coming. I told Dean I'd keep you here."

Castiel nodded, just glad that Benny had agreed to go and help Dean, providing him with much-needed back-up. Benny was big and strong and loyal to Dean as a friend. He would even the odds and then some. A wave of relief washed over Castiel as he watched Benny leave, but there was still a knot in his stomach. Maybe if he could go and talk to Luke... Maybe he had changed?

Castiel shook his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He wasn't the same naïve kid he had been, so easy to take advantage of. He couldn't let himself think that Luke was a good person anymore, not after what he had done. Still, Castiel couldn't sit back and let Dean take all of the risk for his mistakes.

He made up his mind and sifted through the keys hanging on the wall by the door. It took him a moment before he found Zeke's, only recognizing them because of the bulky bottle opener that was attached to them. He made his way down the hall, quietly looking around, hoping that he could sneak out without anyone noticing.

Once he was in the clear, he headed out the side door of the station, making his way to the back lot where all of the guys parked their cars during their shifts. He found Zeke's car and was glad to see that no one had come outside as he'd started driving away. Nervousness flowed through him like an electric charge as he tried not to speed to Dean's.

-The House-

Dean parked his car down the block, sneaking through the neighbor's back yard and into his own, hoping that if Luke was in the house, he wouldn't see Dean coming. He felt the hard metal of his father's gun digging into his back, a constant reminder of what he might have to do if things didn't go well.

He stood outside the back door, listening. Pulling his keys from his pocket silently, he froze when he heard a soft clang from inside. Maybe he was being paranoid, but he backed up slowly, rounding the side of the house to the basement window.

He climbed in without a sound, suddenly glad that Luke hadn't shown up a few weeks ago when his leg was broken. He never could have protected Castiel like that. A shudder ran down his spine as he thought about what could have happened. Dean wasn't sure he'd be able to live with himself if he hadn't been able to save another person that he cared about.

He moved with a grace and stealth that no one that knew Dean would have thought possible, making his way to the main floor. He heard slight noises from the upstairs, most likely Castiel's bedroom. He tried to keep himself calm instead of imagining what Luke might be up to.

He pulled the white-handled pistol from his waistband, gripping it firmly, but keeping it down by his side. He slid himself into the nook under the main stairs, waiting for Luke to come down, ready to confront him, hopefully without using force.

He peeked out as he heard the stairs creaking, looking for any kind of weapon, relieved when he didn't see one. When Luke got to the bottom of the stairs, Dean stepped out. He almost didn't recognize the man, having only seen an old drivers license that Ash looked up. He looked almost the same, but so much older. His eyes were dark, his cheeks were sunken in- Drugs, Dean thought to himself, more nervous than before. Junkies were notably unpredictable even without weapons. "What are you doing in my house?"

Luke leaned against the railing, looking Dean up and down. "Just looking for something that belongs to me."

"Nothing here is yours. Leave." When Luke made no move to leave, Dean raised the gun. "Now."

Luke smirked at him, looking towards the door. "I don't think you're going to shoot me."

"Believe me, I don't want to... But I will." Their gaze is intense as he wonders if Luke is really crazy enough to test him. Just when he thought that the other man was going to turn and walk away, he was charged. He managed to get two shots off, but even with his good reflexes, Luke closed the distance between them too quickly for him to hit his target.

When Luke slammed into him, they fell back against a bookshelf, Dean immediately throwing punches when he realized that his gun had been knocked away. He landed a hit square across Luke's face sending him reeling backward, buying him time to locate the gun. He growled when he didn't see it anywhere around.

Luke rubbed his sleeve across his nose, wiping away a slow trickle of blood that the punch had started. "You really want to do this?" He sounded angry, but his face looked calm, an unnerving combination. "Over him?"

Dean didn't answer, choosing instead to start swinging again, the man's smug attitude really pissing him off. They went back and forth, Luke taunting him, trying to get a response that Dean refused to give. He knew that it would be any minute that the Police would show up, the shots most likely having been reported by his neighbors almost immediately. He wanted to deal with Luke before they showed up, but it wasn't looking likely.

Between punches, Dean heard the familiar sound of the door opening and he couldn't help the reflex to look over, worried that Castiel had somehow shown up. As soon as Dean realized that it was Benny, he felt a searing pain in his head as Luke hit him with a small, but sturdy old end table while he was distracted.

He fell to the ground, head in his hands as his vision began to get spotty. He heard the others wrestling behind him and hoped that Benny was fairing better than he had. Not to say that he hadn't been doing well, but Luke seemed to have an unnatural resilience probably due to the fact that he was on something.

He sat up, trying to steady himself as his head pounded, looking over at the two men as the separated, Luke barreled into the wall with a loud groan. Benny slowly walked over to Dean when he assumed that Luke wasn't going to move, given that the wind had been knocked out of him and he was barely able to hold himself up. Thank God for Benny.

"You all right, brother?" He shouted from across the room, not wanting to take his eyes off of the intruder, or give him any room to move.

"Yeah..." Dean hissed as he got to his feet, leaning against the couch to steady himself. He was taking in the sight of Luke- bruised, bloody and smiling... His stomach sank as he followed the man's line of sight. From his new position, he could see where the gun had fallen, under edge of his Dad's recliner. Without thinking, he dove for it, not able to make it there before Luke.

He backed up a step, standing slowly with his hands out as he looked down the barrel of his own gun. He didn't want to speak, knowing that anything that he could say might set the unstable man off.

"Well, was it worth it?" He took a small step forward, his spare hand on his probably broken ribs. "Was he worth dying for?"

"Luke, no!" Castiel had run into the house through the open door as soon as he'd been able to stop the car. When he saw Luke aiming a gun at Dean, he couldn't keep himself from yelling.

"Cas, what are you doing here?" Dean's heart stopped when he heard Castiel's voice. He couldn't be there, he was supposed to be at the station.

"I'm sorry, Dean, I couldn't let you do this alone..." He took a small step towards Luke, slowly. "Please, Luke, put the gun down and we can talk."

"Talk about what, angel?" He smiled a little when Castiel flinched at the nickname. "About how you told me you loved me that night and then you vanished the next day? That really hurt me, you know. And now you're with this guy? What, exactly, do you think we should  **talk**  about? Hm?"

"I'm sorry- I'm  **so**  sorry... I don't know what I was thinking, I was just scared and confused... It was a mistake." Another small step forward and he couldn't look at Dean as he spoke. "Please, let's just go home. I promise, I won't do anything to hurt you again."

"Oh, I know you won't." He looked back at Dean for a moment before turning the gun on Castiel.

Dean's entire world stopped and it was like time stood still as he flashed back to the gun fight in the bar almost 7 years ago, when he thought that he might lose Jo. The fear that he had felt then flooded him again as he thought that he might lose Castiel too. He was supposed to protect them both, but he couldn't. He couldn't save Jo and now he couldn't save Castiel either.

It was only a split second, but he felt as if his entire life had flashed before his eyes as the fear of losing another person that he loved overwhelmed him. "Cas!" He screamed his name as the most deafening sound he'd ever heard rang through the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending that you've been waiting for. Sorry for the delay!

Dean stood silently, fidgeting with the sleeve of his black suit jacket, uncomfortable in such nice clothing. It was almost time and his emotions were starting to get the better of him. Anna stood in front of him, straightening his tie, not because it was crooked, but to give her hands something to do.

She finally pulled back, her fingers twiddling together nervously. "Oh, Dean..." She looked up at him with tears threatening to spill if she continued to speak.

"Don't." Dean looked away, blinking. "If you start crying again, I'm going to start crying again..." He took a few deep breaths as he tried to focus on something else to occupy his mind. "Where's Charlie?"

"She's with Gabe, I think. They're getting everyone settled in. Just a few more minutes now." She looked around the room, trying to find something else that she could do to pass the time. The waiting was going to kill the both of them. "I guess I'll go help them. Will you be okay alone?"

Dean nodded, eyes still closed as he wracked his brain for distractions of any kind. He really needed Charlie and her sarcasm right about now. Instead, he pulled out his phone and checked his messages, of which there were about a hundred.

The last week had been stressful for Dean to say the least. Most of the messages were of people that were sorry they wouldn't be able to make it and were sending their best wishes. It made Dean smile a little bit, thinking about all of the people that he had in his life that cared enough to do such a thing.

He'd needed that little thing to make him smile after the hectic week he'd had. His nerves had been on edge for days at that thought of having to go out there in front of everyone. He'd been thinking so hard about what he could possibly say that could express his feelings for Castiel, but his mind was just too mixed up to make it work.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the door opened, relieved at the sight of his brother. "Hey. You ready?" Sam pushed back his cuff to reveal his watch. "It's time."

Dean took one last deep breath before walking past his brother, placing a hand on his shoulder in a silent 'thank you'.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as he walked down the hallway. It almost stopped when he walked into the room, overwhelmed by how many people there were. He looked around, seeing a lot of familiar faces, but several that he didn't know as he walked past them to the front of the room.

All eyes were on him as he stood at the front of the room, Sam by his side with a warm hand on his shoulder. The room was decorated beautifully with fresh flowers framing them. They were lilies, Castiel's favorite.

Suddenly, the music began, soft and low, and Dean couldn't hold himself together anymore. He could feel the supportive hand on his shoulder tightening as Sam realized that Dean was losing it. Looking out to the crowd, memories floor him as the tears started running down his face only a moment before his hand moved to wipe them away.

_As the gunshot rang out, Dean threw himself in front of Castiel, hoping to make it to him in time. They stood there for a moment in the silence that followed, Dean terrified to check if Castiel had been hit. His hands roamed across his upper body, gulping loudly when he realized that he was unharmed. If he hadn't gotten there in time to take the bullet, then Castiel..._

_He looked up into wide blue eyes, his hands running across Castiel's torso hurriedly in search of a wound. "I'm fine..." Castiel's voice was shaky and Dean almost didn't hear it, his mind so focused on making sure that Castiel was all right, that he almost couldn't believe that he was._

_"Dean." Castiel's hand came up to his face, turning his head slightly, forcing his gaze to the side._

_For a moment he was confused until he saw was Castiel was trying to show him. Luke stood staring at them, gun by his side as his empty hand groped at his chest. They could see blood spilling over his hand as he looked to Benny with confusion on his face before falling to the ground._

_Castiel and Dean followed his gaze, both surprised to see a gun in their friend's hand, still aimed at Luke. Benny looked over at them, his face expressionless as he walked over to Luke, kicking Dean's gun out of his hand and a safe distance away._

_Benny set his gun on the coffee table and pulled out his phone, dialing the Police. As he talked, explaining the situation, Dean turned his attention back to Castiel._

_"I told you to stay at the station. What-" He took a deep breath. He wanted to yell at Castiel, scream at him for being so stupid to come to the house and put himself in danger, but he couldn't. He was so relieved that Castiel was okay that he couldn't stay mad. He leaned his forehead in to rest against Castiel's, his hands on either side of his face. "I can't lose you."_

_Castiel pulled Dean in close and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry... I couldn't leave you here alone." He kissed Dean again, this time deeper, with more need. "You're not the only one with something to lose."_

That night was almost three years ago and it was only the beginning for Dean and Castiel. Since then, the guest bedroom had been emptied. Since then, Dean had said 'I love you' to Castiel every single day. Since then, every day had been leading up to one moment.

He had thought once before that he would get to marry the love of his life, but it hadn't worked out. As Dean watched Castiel walking towards him, he felt like he couldn't breathe. It was finally happening.

He smiled as Castiel walked up in front of him, his hand reaching out for Deans as the music quieted down. Sam stood between them, beginning to speak. Dean had insisted that if they were going to get married, Sam would be the one to do it.

Dean could feel Castiel's hands clenching his tighter as it came time for them to say their vows. "Dean..." He took a breath, trying to steady himself enough to make it through everything that he had to say. "I'm only standing here today because of you. Since the first day we met, you've been saving me... In every way. I love you more than I ever thought possible."

Dean smiled at him, his thumb caressing Castiel's hands as he listened to the kind words, nervous because he'd been having trouble with his own vows. "Cas... There was a time when I thought I had it all. I was in love, I was happy and then..." He cleared his throat a little. "I never thought that I would get another chance. I was ready to spend the rest of my life alone- Then I met you. I might have pulled you from a fire, but that day, I was the one that was saved. I love you, now and forever."

Within moments, they were sharing the first of many kisses as husbands. As they walked out, hand in hand, their friends and family cheered. As Dean looked around at all of the smiling faces and next to him, the most important one of all, he realized that after all of the pain and sacrifices he'd made, he finally had everything he'd ever wanted.


End file.
